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Sixty and Me published a personal essay urging readers to rethink “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The author illustrates the advice with family experiences, but the article presents personal reflection, not research establishing that avoiding these words improves outcomes.
Sixty and Me has published a personal essay recommending that readers reconsider six common words and phrases—“I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but”—because, the author argues, they can shape self-talk and affect relationships. The piece offers personal examples and suggested alternatives; it does not cite research showing that avoiding the phrases produces particular results.
The essay’s author frames the advice around limiting beliefs and deliberate language, drawing on a coaching exercise in which the author and a colleague shared affirmations during regular phone calls. The author says the practice continued for seven years and that both saw progress in their personal and professional lives. That account is presented as personal experience, not as a measured study.
Several recommendations focus on how people describe their actions. The author says “I’ll try” can leave room for not following through and contrasts it with “I will.” The essay also suggests replacing “I can’t” with a more specific description of what happened or a choice being made. For instance, saying “I didn’t get out for my walk today” is presented as more honest than saying there was no time.
The remaining suggestions concern absolute language, regret and criticism. The author advises avoiding “always” and “never” in complaints or self-judgments, and replacing “if only” with a forward-looking phrase: “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity.” The essay calls “but” a “verbal eraser” and gives “This one is a handful and I love him to pieces” as an alternative to a sentence that places a criticism after “but.”
How Word Choices Shape Conversations
The article’s practical point is that familiar phrases can frame an experience as fixed, hopeless or outside a person’s control. In everyday conversation, statements such as “you always” or “you never” may sound like broad accusations rather than descriptions of a specific incident. Rephrasing them can make a concern more precise and may help keep a discussion focused on what happened.
That is the essay’s argument, rather than a finding established by evidence in the report. Readers can take the examples as prompts to notice their own language, while recognizing that a particular phrase does not by itself prove a person lacks commitment or responsibility. Circumstances, ability and support also affect whether someone can act on a goal.
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The essay uses family stories to explain its advice. In one, the author recalls a friend whose fiancé removed the word “divorce” from his dictionaries as a gesture of reassurance. The author says the couple remained married more than 40 years later. The anecdote illustrates the emotional meaning the author assigns to words; it does not establish that the gesture caused the marriage to last.
Another example concerns the author’s son Joel, who has Down syndrome. The author reports that, during the pandemic, the family began taking daily walks and had fewer nearby opportunities to buy fast food or soda. According to the essay, Joel lost 35 pounds over six months and maintained the practices described. The author uses his repeated “I’ll try” as a prompt to encourage more direct wording. The account does not provide medical records or establish that changing the phrase caused the weight loss.
The source also includes the author’s personal decision to limit swear words, partly because children may repeat what they hear. The six recommendations that follow are broader than profanity: they focus on habitual language the author believes can discourage growth or strain communication.
“Words have power.”
— Sixty and Me essay author
What the Essay Does Not Establish
The supplied report does not state its publication date, identify an editor or provide interviews with researchers or communication specialists. It cites no studies or data assessing whether avoiding these words changes behavior, emotional well-being or relationship outcomes. Its advice should therefore be understood as the author’s perspective, supported by anecdotes rather than evidence presented in the article.
Some examples also depend on individual circumstances. “I will” may feel more decisive than “I’ll try,” but the wording alone cannot guarantee success. Likewise, “can’t” may describe a genuine limitation, not an excuse. The essay does not discuss how readers might distinguish habitual self-talk from constraints involving health, disability, time or resources.
Applying the Suggestions Carefully
The essay invites readers to notice phrases they would prefer not to use and try alternatives that feel more accurate or constructive. It does not announce a follow-up study, program or scheduled next development. Any broader conclusions about the effect of the recommendations would require evidence beyond the personal accounts in the report.
For readers testing the suggestions, the distinction between precision and forced positivity matters: describing what happened may be more useful than making a blanket judgment, but an affirming phrase cannot resolve every barrier. The source leaves the choice of which words to change—and how to assess the effect—to individual readers.
Key Questions
Which six words or phrases does the essay recommend rethinking?
The author discusses “I’ll try,” “can’t,” “always,” “never,” “if only” and “but.” The article also mentions swear words, but its six main recommendations are those phrases.
Does the report provide research proving these words are harmful?
No. The supplied article presents personal stories and advice and does not cite studies establishing that avoiding the phrases improves behavior or relationships.
What does the author suggest saying instead of “if only”?
The essay proposes: “Since this is here, I have a new opportunity.” This is the author’s suggested reframing, not a tested intervention in the report.
The essay argues that “can’t” can sometimes avoid acknowledging a choice, but it does not establish that every use is inaccurate. A person may face real constraints or limitations; the article does not examine those cases in detail.
Source: sixtyandme.com
